Pass the Cheetos

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Pass the Cheetos

One of the great joys in life is the guilty pleasure–for which, admittedly, I feel tremendous amounts of shame in public while cackling madly with glee in private. Y’all know what I’m talking about. For anyone who can’t pass up Breakin’ 2: Electric Boogaloo on late nite cable, or who knows all the words to “Rock Me Amadeus” and sings them proudly in the car whenever it plays on the radio. . .doesn’t it just feel so good to be so bad?

I know they have support groups for these kind of things, but instead I’d like to embrace my cheesy instincts if only for a little while. That’s why I’ve decided–at tremendous personal risk, I might add–to come clean and lay it on the table. I can only hope that you’ll still respect me in the morning.

–Guilty Food: Chef Boyardee. In the parlance of my buddy Jeff, it’s just Nasty Good. Beefaroni, Ravioli–even that funky Nacho Twistaroni, I just can’t seem to help myself. My wife only keeps a couple of cans in the house at one time, so I just get to eat it for lunch on Saturdays. Any more than that, and Houston might have a serious problem.

–Guilty Music: 80s one hit wonders. I have a startling collection of singles from that totally tubular deacde in the old MP3 vault. The Boys Don’t Cry opus “I Wanna Be a Cowboy”? Check. That swingin’ Baltimora and their “Tarzan Boy”? Got it. Hell, I even dug up a copy of “The Rain” by Oran Juice Jones (love that rap at the end on the song). The perfect antidote to modern pop, good for cleaning out those old pipes.

–Guilty Film: The Pauly Shore oeuvre. I must confess, I cannot lie–I laughed myself silly during Encino Man, though for sheer range of performance Son in Law clearly takes the Oscar. Granted, it helps to be liquored up when you’re watching–but who hasn’t wanted to wheeze the juice with the Weasel once or twice? Pass the grindage, bro.

Whew! Feels good to get that off my chest. Anybody else care to share?

Heh, heh, heh…

17
FEB
2006
10
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Comments

  1. Derek  February 20, 2006

    I was holding off on commenting when this was posted, but alas, I cannot hold off any longer on a chance to chat about 80s music.

    I, too, have a sad addiction to 80s music. In fact, as I type this, I am listening to “Kiss You When It’s Dangerous” by Eight Seconds. My 80s mp3 collection has been played at numerous parties and has been the topic of countless conversations. People are amazed when I can name-drop bands and songs from just hearing the first few bars of a song. My collection sports such classics as “Big In Japan” by Alphaville; “One Night in Bangkok” by Chess; “88 Lines About 44 Women” by Nails; “Never Say Never” by Romeo Void. Really, the list goes on and on and on. Not to mention , my secret stash of Rick Astley tracks. Oh yes, no Retro 80s library is complete without them.

    So that is by far my worst and biggest musically-inclined guilty pleasure. Other than that, I’m a big Electronica fan. I wonder if we were to combine our Retro mp3 library how many hits or one-hit-wonders we’d actually be missing from the decade. My guess is very few indeed.

    (“The Sun Always Shines On TV” by A-Ha just came on. :P)

    When it comes to guilty pleasure foods, I have two. Doritos. Obessessed. Yes. I am very much so. Both my brother and I have gone into very indepth conversations about the various flavours, the types of “flavour dust” that are on them, and we’ve actually ranked our top ten. In fact, one of the first things we do when we go travelling into another country is scope out new and exotic Doritos flavours.

    The other would be sushi. I could eat it 7 days a week and never get tired of it.

    When it comes to movies, well, I’m a bit of a home theatre nut and have an extensive collection of DVDs. Most of which, according to my wife, are crap and would fall into my guilty pleasure list. One of the top ones would have to be Quest for the Holy Grail by Monty Python. Classic. Another would be Willow, or even Krull. ‘Nuff said.

    Though I think anything with Pauly Shore in it would be far far worse. 🙂

    And that is that.

    Ciao.

    (PS: Last 80s track to come on as I typed this is currently “Living on the Ceiling” by BlancMange)

  2. Marc G  February 20, 2006

    Dude! And I thought I was the only one who ever heard of Eight Seconds (I actually bought the entire album back in the day). And speaking of Rick Astley, I once seranaded a girl I liked in a Pizza Hut by singing “Together Forever.” Out loud. REALLY loud. Ugh. True love knows no shame.

  3. Steve-O  February 21, 2006

    I once listened to you sing Billy Joel songs in a crowded Six Flags ride waiting line. And who can forget the rendition of the theme from Sanford and Son in Duncan dining hall. But…Rick “freakin” Astley fer cryin’ out loud??? Ay Chihuahua!

  4. Marc G  February 21, 2006

    I told you this was a risky post!

  5. Steve-O  February 22, 2006

    Full disclosure – I own not one but two ABC albums. And both are greatest hits.

  6. John K  February 23, 2006

    Rick Astley??? Holy crap. Not much more I can say than that!

  7. Kuce  February 28, 2006

    Rock Me Amadeus – now that takes me back.

    I actually found a guilty favoriate this weekend – Hot Dog: The Movie. How am I going to explain this to our 5 year old when he starts saying “Daddy, let’s watch that movie”?

  8. Marc G  February 28, 2006

    Hot Dog? Yikes! I remember that one, in spite of the number of beers it took to get though the movie. Try letting your son watch “The Final Countdown” instead. Now THAT’S an 80s flick! Love watching those Tomcats shooting down the Japanese Zeroes–and easily James Farentino’s finest performance.

    Unless you count the “Blue Thunder” TV series…

  9. Kuce  March 1, 2006

    Granted watching the F14’s shoot down the Zero’s was good stuff, but Hot Dog is all about guilty pleasures – but the beer does help.

    I spent the 2nd half of grad school ordering Pizza Rolls, making a pitcher of Rita’s and going skiing. Maybe that’ll be the plan for this Friday night.

    Now Ski School, that’s a dog – not even good enough to meet the Hot Dog standard.

  10. Derek  March 20, 2006

    I was listening to more 80s retro this weekend (as I seem to do, like, all the time) and happened upon another classic one hit wonder.

    Plastic Bertrand – Ca Plane Pour Moi.

    Though it came out in the late 70s, it still got spun in the clubs in the 80s. Good, fun tune.

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